: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
