I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he puts the penis in happiness.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
