i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
