somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
