I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
