no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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