I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
