just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
