Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
