they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
