Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
