I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
