We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
