His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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