Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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