Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
