I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Please, let me fuck your mom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
