Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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