Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
