You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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