No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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