dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
