matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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