Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
