I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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