i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And then he peed in my hair
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