the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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