so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
