I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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