maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
