Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
