Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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