well I can't set my house on fire every night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
