Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
