I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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