new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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