A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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