I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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