He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
