i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
