I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
