Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
