Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
