either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
