if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
