Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So many bounce houses so little time
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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