Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
