I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
