I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
