That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
